Speaking of Speaking

I know that I speak in different ways to different sets of people. I am going to use a couple of examples here, just to make my point. The first example is what I am writing right now. I would probably not say all of this if I was speaking to someone else in person. That is partly because that here I have to state everything and make it completely clear. That is because no one can really say “wait, back up, I didn’t quite get that last part” on a forum or posting. In spoken language, I would say a lot less, and still be assured that my meaning was coming across. That, and here I can talk for as long as I want to. There is really no limit to how much text I can put down. But if I were talking, then there would be a logical time limit to whatever I was saying. So I naturally have to communicate differently in spoken and written mediums, even if I am using the same language.

But not all written languages are the same. I know that many people are into IM’ing. This kind of truncated speech is used because of the time constraints involved. Also, because one is in direct communication with another, they don’t necessarily have to get out every thought in a complete sentence. This leads to all sorts of “IM”lish where you’ll see spelling and grammatical errors, and even stylized misspellings. Now I don’t IM, so you’re probably wondering why I’m talking about this. I don’t IM, but I do play first person shooter (FPS) computer games. Without a VOIP support, typing is the only way to communicate to another player in the game. But when one is typing, one is not moving- which makes one into a sitting duck… which is bad. One might say that FPS-speak is similar to IMlish, but I would have to argue. I won’t say I’m fluent, but when someone types “gs,” I can translate that to “good shot!” or “ty” for “thank you.” Clearly, such a language leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation problems. It is a special purpose language- used in special circumstances.

These are extreme examples, I know, but sometimes the best examples can be found in the extremes. I will also say that my normal speaking language does change slightly depending on whom I am talking to. Having taken Japanese for 4 (going on 5 now) years, I am familiar with the concept of an “in group” and “out group” languages (although I still get them confused now and then). The whole idea is that there is a way of talking to people who you are comfortable with- a way that allows for more close communication, while also having a different language set that allows for greater diplomacy. I would argue that we do this in our everyday life as well without realizing it. There is a way that we talk around our friends, and a way that we talk around those who are above us in “status” level. There are many, many different ways of speaking, and we use them daily. But there are also many different special application languages that we have learned over the course of our life. Especially with the different means of communication available to us, there are definitely different languages that are used for different purposes. I would say that what is truly myself would not be described by any of these languages in particular. Each way of speaking reveals a certain aspect of who I am, which is not necessarily the same as being different from myself. It’s the odd sort of thing which is often difficult to describe- every shard that is portrayed in a language is me. Each individual view is distinct and somewhat different. At the same time, all of the shards AND the sum total of the shards is what I use to define myself. (that’s way complicated, and I can’t even explain it satisfactorily to myself without resorting to poetry which is another language….. *sigh*). But in response to the last question, as to whether the parts of yourself represented to another group are truly you. Since when have we laid bare the inner, deepest workings of our personality to another person or group? It wakes a lot of trust, and isn’t something that is going to happen easily. And so I would argue that we aren’t ever really showing the “true self” to another person- that’s not hiding behind a mode of speaking, it’s just that our emotional barriers close us off just enough to give us some modicum of privacy and self containment. It’s not a defensive thing, it’s just a human thing. Which is all that our languages are anyways.